stupidly easy clam chowder

This is truly stupidly easy. It tastes incredibly good though, and that's what matters. The hardest part of this meal is buying all the canned items at the grocery store and sitting there and stirring it so that it doesn't burn or get soup skin. I recommend getting a glass of wine or a beer before starting this recipe, because it's so easy to do, you'll get bored half way through.

Ingredients:

1 can of evaporated milk 400g (low fat if you're into that)

1 can of baby clams 10 0z./290g

1 can of mixed veggies 15 oz./425g

1 can of crab meat or salad shrimp 6 oz./170g

1 can of pacific razor clams or anything else 190g

1 large onion

1 tsp. of butter

1 tsp. of virgin olive oil

1/2 cup of clam juice

3 cups of water

3 tbsps. of pepper

2 tsps. Of salt

2 tsps. Of sugar

1 tsp. of basil

Now if you do not like your food spicy, then don't put so much pepper in and if you like your chowder really creamy and fattening then use less water and substitute in more evaporated milk or a can of "Cream of potato" soup or something. The only way that recipes improve is by screwing with them. This goes for the seafood selections too. I used pacific razor clams, but you might want to try some smoked oysters or some calimari. Have fun and go nuts.

First thing you do is find a big pot or saucepan and turn on your heat to just under medium. Melt the butter and the olive oil together. (Mixing olive oil with butter helps the butter not burn on higher heats.) Dice up your onion, or just cut it into small pieces and sauté it in the butter mixture for about 5 minutes.

Add the can of baby clams, along with the juice in the can. Stir until mixed. Rinse the crab or shrimp with water, drain and add to the mix. Stir all the time, this is important. Add the can of mixed veggies along with the juice, stir, stir, stir. Add the other can of seafood (if it's in an oil based mix, then rise and drain - if it's water based, add the juice too) and keep stirring. See a pattern here? Drop in the extra clam juice, splash it around because you're very bored by this point. Throw in the evaporated milk and the water and stir like a possessed person.

At this point I would recommend tasting the broth so that you can be sure you want to add as much pepper as I have. If you're convinced I don't have a stunted palette, go ahead and add all the spices. The sugar just assures you won't have a bitter tasting soup, so if you have sugar issues it won't kill the soup if it's left out.

You really do have to watch the soup and stir it lots so that it doesn't get that disgusting skin that cream based soups get if they're prepared by a delinquent chef.

*Warning* Although this is a delicious soup and your date/significant other/mom will be incredibly impressed by the taste, you do not want to be around them the next day. This is a gas inducer, or maybe Drew and I just don't eat enough creamy things. Either way, consider yourself warned but don't let that get in the way of making the soup.